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Tombstone Quotes 

I tried to stop laughing when I read these tombstone quotes—honest. Laughing at the dead seems somehow sacrilegious. But, hey, some folks just had a sense of humor.

To free me from domestic strife,
Death call'd at my house,
but he spoke with my wife.
Susan, wife of David Pattison, lies buried here.
Oct. 19, 1706

Stop reader, and if not in a hurry, shed a tear.
Susan Pattison,
Suffolk, England













Well, judging from the above tombstone quote, one rather gets the feeling that Mr. Pattison isn't going to shed a tear, doesn't one?

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Here are some other tombstone quotes that are priceless:

Here lies a virgin,
with her babe
resting in her arms.
Snow Camp, North Carolina

Sacred to the memory of
Nathaniel Godbold, Esq.
Inventor & Proprietor of
That excellent medicine
THE VEGETABLE BALSAM
Reknowned for the cure of Consumption
And Asthma
Died Dec. 17, 1799
Died of fevers and asthma.
Godalming, England

Underneath this pile of stone,
Lies all that's left of Sally Jones.
Her name was Lord, it was not Jones,
But Jones was used to rhyme with stones.
Sally Lord, Skaneteles, New York

In Memory of Captain Underwood
Who was drowned
Here lies free from blood and slaughter
Once Underwood -- now underwater.
Captain Underwood, Sussex, England

This tombstone quote makes it sound like the poor chap had a pretty inglorious trip home!

Here in this urn
From Malaber
The ashes lie
of Jonathan Barr
He sought a higher life
Afar
And traveled home
In a jar
Jonathan Barr, Nantucket, Rhode Island

1891
shot in the back
by a dirty rat
Charles Thompson Nainaimo
British Columbia, Canada

She always said her feet were killing
Her but nobody believed her.
Margaret Daniels, Hollywood Cemetery,
Richmond, Virginia

Here lies Ezekiel Aikle
Aged 102
The good
Die young
Ezekiel Aikle, East Dalhousie Cemetery,
Nova Scotia

And another tombstone quote from one of our longer-lived fellows:

Died at the age of 102
at the hands of a justifiably outraged husband.

Norton I
Emperor of the United States
And Protector of Mexico
Joshua Norton, The Masonic Cemetery,
Colma, California, 1880
(Old Norton was a San Francisco eccentric who declared himself Emperor.  San Francisco humors its eccentrics—even an Emperor)

The brevity of these tombstone quotes is indeed remarkable:

Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I ain't again.
Arthur C. Homans, Cleveland, Ohio

Been Here:
Now gone:
Had a good time
1916
Dr. J.J. Subers, Rose Hill Cemetery
Macon, Georgia

I was somebody.
Who, is no business of yours.
Seen on a gravestone in Vermont

Aren't they wonderful? I couldn't help but wonder what I would like to have on my tombstone quote, or on my urn should I end up in a jar. Perhaps something Dorothy Parker once suggested for her own grave:

"This one's on me..."

Also see Halloween Quotes

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Spook's Page.

"

Graveyards used to be wonderfully spooky spots, with splendid tales told on the markers. We've gotten much more proper, with tombstone quotes not what they used to be.

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