FUNNY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE

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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
   Charles M. Schulz

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Ambrose Bierce

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
Shakespeare

Well, I'm still here.
Bob Hope, 
after reports of his death (with tributes in Congress, no less)

Newspapers, even, have degenerated.  They may now be absolutely relied on.
Oscar Wilde

Home is heaven, and orgies are vile.
But you need an orgy, once in a while.
Ogden Nash

There's a million more important things going on in the world today.  New countries are being born.  they're getting ready to send men to the moon. 
I just can't get excited about making wax fruit.
Neil Simon in "Come Blow Your Horn."

I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe, 
when asked what she had on in a nude photo.

It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure why take the chance?
Ronald Reagan

Without humor you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation.
John Buchan

The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh.  I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W.C. Fields

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain

It's good to play, and you must keep in practice.
Jerry Seinfeld

Plunge boldly into the thick of life.
Goethe

When bound and gagged, you can still tap out HELP in Morse code to attract attention.
Nancy Drew in "The Clue of the Tapping Heels"

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