Funny Halloween Quotes

Making Scary Funny and Grinning at Ghouls

Funny? Halloween? Hmmm..., Scary, creepy, ghoulish... yeah, all that. But funny Halloween quotes? Sure, why not? It's true that Halloween was first created as a pagan and later a Christian religious holiday, but nowadays, this particular holiday is supposed to be... fun!

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
~Jean Baudrillard

We laugh to keep the fears away. We laugh to prove we're not really afraid. Mostly we just like being silly and laughing at ourselves.

So run through these funny Halloween quotes for a gentle laugh. Then check out the darling Halloween jokes, too.

I see my face in the mirror and go, "I'm a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?"
~Drew Carey

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
~Lindsay Lohan in "Mean Girls"

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting.
~Lorna Luft

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
~Charles Swartz

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween.
~Loretta Lynn

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
~Erma Bombeck

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
~Rodney Dangerfield

As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today...Oh, how I wish he'd go away.

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the
final haul on Halloween night.
~Steve Almond

Last year was the first time I actually participated in Halloween. I dressed up as a pimp, and my sister was my bitch. We had to walk down Sunset Boulevard because we couldn't get a ride to the party, and everyone was sticking their heads out of their cars and yelling at us. It was great.
~Christina Applegate

Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
~Rosalind Wiseman

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween everyday.
~Gwen Stefani

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn’t know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat. No thank you."
~Rita Rudner

Halloween Jokes - The Sillier the Better

Finally, if you've got kids, you know they love Halloween in all its guises. And you know they love silly Halloween jokes. Here are a few to share with them:

Q. What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A. A grave problem.

Q. Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
A. He has a bat temper.

Q. Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
A. He had a fang-ache.

Q. Why are vampires like false teeth?
A. They all come out at night.

Q. Who does Dracula get letters from?
A. His fang club.

So keep Halloween funny. Use some of our funny Halloween quotes to lighten up the scary night.

And be sure to check out our other Halloween Quotes and Funny Tombstone Quotes.

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