Funny Friend Quotes:
Funny Quotes for Funny Friends

What good are funny friend quotes, you ask? Well, what binds us to our friends and keeps those ties strong? Tears? Memories? Shared experiences? Yep, all of those. But the best friend-glue of all, I think, is shared laughter.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your three best friends.
If they're OK, then it's you.
~Rita Mae Brown

Haven't you had the experience of meeting someone and knowing, almost at once, that you shared the same sense of humor? Don't you have at least one friend who you can just look at you with a certain expression and you both burst out laughing. And what a great feeling that is. The camaraderie of laughter is the Krazy Glue of friendship.

And so... here are some funny friend quotes to share with your funny friends, and cement those bonds even more firmly with a few giggles, titters, and a belly laugh or two.

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.
~ Linda Grayson, "The Printwick Papers" (This quote is usually incorrectly attributed to Charles Dickens.)

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
~ Laurence J. Peter

If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh.
~ P.C. Cast

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
~ George Carlin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
~ Mark Twain

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
~ C.S. Lewis

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.
~ Jay McInerney

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
~ Bernard Meltzer

Some Funny Friend Quotes are Short, Sweet and Right to the Point!

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
~ Edwin Arlington Robinson

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
~ Erma Bombeck

A true friend stabs you in the front.
~ Oscar Wilde

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
~ Fr. Jerome Cummings

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
~ Marlene Dietrich

Spongebob: What do you usually do when I'm gone?
Patrick: Wait for you to come back.

Meet Our Old Friend Anonymous

I like to source as many of the quotations I publish here as I possibly can. But some of the best funny friendship quotations I've found are only sourced as "Anonymous" or "Unknown." I hate leaving these great little bits of wit and wisdom, so here's a bunch. Anyone know who said/write these quotes? If so, please let me know!

Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice.
~ Anonymous

A friend is one who dislikes the same people you dislike.
~ Unknown

Best friends are those who, when you show up at their door with a dead body, say nothing, grab a shovel, and follow you.
~ Unknown

I live for the nights I'll never remember with the friends I'll never forget.
~ Unknown

A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.”
~ Unknown

Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice.
~ Unknown

Finally, there are some wonderful cute and funny friend quotes that just make you smile and then say... "Yeah!"

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security old-age home in Australia.
~ Dame Edna Everage

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'
~ Groucho Marx

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."
~ Jeff Foxworthy

And we all need funny friend quotes for the ones we haven't met yet.... who just may turn out to be the best of all, our new BFF.

Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of.
~ Sarah Orne Jewett

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