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FUNNY FOOTBALL QUOTES 

You know, I feel kind of guilty taking pot shots at such an easy target.  But there are so many funny football quotes to choose from.  Ridiculous...  Absurd...  Hilarious ones.  And through it all, I kept nodding my head, "Oh, yeah."  

Ladies and gentlemen:  Some very funny football quotes.

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Football features two of the worst aspects of American life, violence and committee meetings.
George Will

Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.
Bill Veeck

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.
Heywood Hale Brown

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck

Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.
Duffy Daugherty

I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.
RB George Rogers

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
Elbert Hubbard

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
Roger Simon

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.
John Leonard

I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body.
Dave Barry

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
Joe Theismann

I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.
Jerry Rice

Most football players are temperamental. That's ninety percent temper and ten percent mental.
Doug Plank

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