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FUNNY FOOTBALL QUOTES
You know, I feel kind of
guilty taking pot shots at such an easy target. But there are so
many funny football quotes to choose from. Ridiculous... Absurd...
Hilarious ones. And through it all, I kept nodding
my head, "Oh, yeah." Ladies and gentlemen: Some very funny football quotes. ** ** Football
features two of the worst aspects of American life, violence and committee
meetings. Baseball is
the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6
inches. To play football, you have to be the same width. Football is,
after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to
jail for it. If a man
watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Football isn't
a contact sport, it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. I want to rush
for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first. College
football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that
bullfighting does to agriculture. If God wanted
women to understand men, football would never have been created. Baseball
happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and
hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. I have seen
women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always
amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what
we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one
major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body. Nobody in
football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein. I feel like
I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that. Most football
players are temperamental. That's ninety percent temper and ten percent
mental. Back to top of Funny Football Quotes
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