FIND A FUNNY FISHING QUOTE 

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There is no greater fan of fly fishing than the worm.
Patrick McManus—"Never Sniff a Gift Fish," 1979

My biggest worry is that my wife (when I'm dead) will sell my fishing gear for what I said I paid for it.
Koos Brandt

There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process.
Paul O'Neil

The two best times to fish is when it's rainin' and when it ain't.
Patrick F. McManus

The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad.
A.K. Best

To paraphrase a deceased patriot, I regret that I have only one life to give to my fly-fishing.
Robert Traver

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing
Ambrose Bierce

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.
Jose Simon

The only thing bad about winning the pennant is that you have to manage the All-Star Game the next year. I'd rather go fishing for three years.
Whitey Herzog

I once gave up fishing. It was the most terrifying weekend of my life.
Anon.

Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.
Jimmy D Moore

If fishing is like religion, then flyfishing is high church.
Tom Brokaw

I am not against golf, since I cannot but suspect it keeps armies of the unworthy from discovering trout.
Paul O'Neil

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish.
Sam Snead (Champion Golfer)

Fishing costs like sin but requires heavier clothing.
L. C. Clower

Most of the world is covered by water. A fisherman's job is simple: Pick out the best parts.
Charles Waterman

If fishing is interfering with your business, give up your business.
Alfred W. Miller

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Don Marquis

Creeps and idiots cannot conceal themselves for long on a fishing trip.
John Gierach

The famous "Fish Story" leads to many a funny fishing quote about fishermen and lies...

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.
Anon.

We ask a simple question
and that is all we wish:
Are fishermen all liars?
Or do only liars fish?
William Sherwood Fox

All fishermen are liars except for you and me, and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure about you
Unknown

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Mark Twain

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.
Oliver Herford

All fishermen are liars; it's an occupational disease with them like housemaid's knee or editor's ulcers.
Beatrice Cook—Till Fish Do Us Part, 1949

Bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley.
Ann Landers

Women fish… yes, really… but the best funny fish quotes come from men… and many of them show a preference for fishing over their women!

Some men would rather be photographed with their fish than with their wives.
Gwen Cooper and Evelyn Haas

Today she met me at the door, said I would have to choose, if I picked up that fishing rod today, she'd be packing all her things and she'd be gone by noon....well I'm gonna miss her when I get home tonight.
Brad Paisly

My wife said I have so many fly rods and reels that I cannot possibly use them all. My reply was that I had rods and reels to fish, rods and reels to tinker with and then my fine-crafted rods and reels to "fondle and admire," while dreaming of trout fishing during the cold winter months. You can imagine what kind of look she gave me.
Jimmy D. Moore

Hell, if I'd jumped on all the dames I'm supposed to have jumped on, I'd have not had time to go fishing.
Clark Gable

Fly-fishing is the most fun you can have standing up.
Arnold Gingrich

Flyfishing is like sex, everyone thinks there is more than there is, and that everyone is getting more than their share.
Henry Kanemoto

Of course, not everyone loves to fish… or loves fishermen. A curmudgeonly funny fishing quote or two seems appropriate here.

Trout fishing. One must be a stickler for proper form. Use nothing but #4 blasting caps, or a hand grenade, if handy, or at a pool well-lined with stone, one blast from a .44 magnum will bring a few stunned brookies quietly to the surface.
Edward Abbey

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.
John Steinbeck

Returning home after a weekend in the Maine woods, Mark Twain was lounging in the smoking car of the train to Boston. He couldn't resist the temptation to boast to the rustic-looking New Englander seated beside him about the twelve big fish he'd caught.

"The season is closed for fishing now" Mark Twain confided, "but between you and me, my friend, out there in the baggage car I've got two hundred pounds of the best rock bass that you ever laid eyes on."

"Waal," drawled the New Englander, "that's interesting, but do you know who I am? I'm the state game warden."

Mark Twain puffed on his cigar. "That's interesting," he said. "But do you know who I am? I'm the damnedest liar in the United States."

Robert Redford's wonderful movie "A River Runs Through It"—based on the great book by Norman MacLean—tells the tale of a minister and his two sons, all avid fly fishermen. A great funny fishing quote from this tale is more human than fishy, and very insightful:

Norman Maclean (the older son) "He told us about Christ's disciples being fishermen, and we were left to assume...that all great fishermen on the Sea of Galilee were fly fisherman and that John, the favorite, was a dry-fly fisherman.

The New Yorker magazine isn't known for its fish stories, so this funny fishing quote caught me off guard:  

Bass fishermen watch Monday Night Football, drink beer, drive pickup trucks and prefer noisy women with big breasts. Trout fishermen watch MacNeil-Lehrer, drink white wine, drive foreign cars with passenger-side air bags and hardly think about women at all.

This last characteristic may have something to do with the fact that trout fishermen spend most of the time immersed up to the thighs in ice-cold water.

And this is my favorite funny fishing quote:

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright

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