Catch a Funny Fishing Quote
All You Have to Do is Drop in Your Line

Finding a funny fishing quote isn't hard. It's not like... the one that got away. To me, fishing is inherently funny. Just the idea of sitting on a bank or standing in a river with a string on a stick waiting for that telltale tug is both amusing and heartwarming.

I caught my first fish as a kid at Clear Lake in northern California. My family went there every summer. My folks both loved to fish, so my dad bought two brand-new fancy fiberglass poles. My sister and I had to make do with a piece of lead line with a hook, a weight and a worm, dropped over the side of the boat. Imagine my dad's chagrin when he spent more time taking blue gill off our hooks than reeling in his own with his fancy pole. My memory of those blue gill look amazingly like the first photo below.

They made for good eating, too!

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by
liars in old clothes.
~Don Marquis

From all the funny fishing quotations I've come across, here are a few that really tickled me.

There is no greater fan of fly fishing than the worm.
~Patrick McManus—"Never Sniff a Gift Fish"

My biggest worry is that my wife (when I'm dead) will sell my fishing gear for what I said I paid for it.
~Koos Brandt

There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process.
~Paul O'Neil

The two best times to fish is when it's rainin' and when it ain't.
~Patrick F. McManus

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing
~Ambrose Bierce

I once gave up fishing. It was the most terrifying weekend of my life.

Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.
~Jimmy D Moore

If fishing is like religion, then fly-fishing is high church.
~Tom Brokaw

Fishing costs like sin but requires heavier clothing.
~L. C. Clower

Blue gill on the hook-fishing quotations

The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad.
~A.K. Best

To paraphrase a deceased patriot, I regret that I have only one life to give to my fly-fishing.
~Robert Traver

Most of the world is covered by water. A fisherman's job is simple: Pick out the best parts.
~Charles Waterman

If fishing is interfering with your business, give up your business.
~Alfred W. Miller

Creeps and idiots cannot conceal themselves for long on a fishing trip.
~John Gierach

The Famous (Infamous) "One That Got away...."

There is no fishing without "fish stories" and there are no funny fishing quotes with tall tales of the one that got away.

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

All fishermen are liars except for you and me, and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure about you

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
~Mark Twain

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.
~Oliver Herford

All fishermen are liars; it's an occupational disease with them like housemaid's knee or editor's ulcers.
~Beatrice Cook, "Till Fish Do Us Part"

Bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley.
~Ann Landers

Lot of women love to fish… yes, really!… but it seems the best funny fish quotes come from men… and many of them show a distinct preference for fishing over their women!

Nerdy man with funny fihsing quot

Today she met me at the door, said I would have to choose, if I picked up that fishing rod today, she'd be packing all her things and she'd be gone by noon.... Well I'm gonna miss her when I get home tonight.
~Brad Paisly

Hell, if I'd jumped on all the dames I'm supposed to have jumped on, I'd have not had time to go fishing.
~Clark Gable

My wife said I have so many fly rods and reels that I cannot possibly use them all. My reply was that I had rods and reels to fish, rods and reels to tinker with and then my fine-crafted rods and reels to "fondle and admire," while dreaming of trout fishing during the cold winter months. You can imagine what kind of look she gave me.
~Jimmy D. Moore

Fly-fishing is the most fun you can have standing up.
~Arnold Gingrich

Fly-fishing is like sex, everyone thinks there is more than there is, and that everyone is getting more than their share.
~Henry Kanemoto

The NON-Fisherman...
Funny Fishing Quotes For Those Who Hate to Fish

Not every funny fishing quote is a elegy to the sport. Believe it or don't, some people don't like fishing... or fishermen. Here are a few funny fishing quotes for the curmudgeonly set.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with a fisherman?
~Woody Allen

Trout fishing. One must be a stickler for proper form. Use nothing but #4 blasting caps, or a hand grenade, if handy, or at a pool well-lined with stone, one blast from a .44 magnum will bring a few stunned brookies quietly to the surface.
~Edward Abbey

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.
~John Steinbeck

The New Yorker magazine isn't known for its fish stories, so this funny fishing quote caught me off guard:

Bass fishermen watch Monday Night Football, drink beer, drive pickup trucks and prefer noisy women with big breasts. Trout fishermen watch MacNeil-Lehrer, drink white wine, drive foreign cars with passenger-side air bags and hardly think about women at all.

This last characteristic may have something to do with the fact that trout fishermen spend most of the time immersed up to the thighs in ice-cold water.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing
on the shore like an idiot.
~Steven Wright

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