Funny Birthday Quotes:
Women Laughing at Aging

Funny birthday quotes directed at women can sometimes feel cruel when they come from men. But women seem to have a talent for laughing at themselves. So when they come out with funny birthday quotes about themselves and their sisters, they can be hilarious.

After 40 a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face and stay sitting down.
~Dame Barbara Cartland

That ability to laugh at ourselves is a blessing indeed. Traditionally in our society, men "mature," while women "get old." But laughing about our age not only brings us joy and a shared sense of community with other women. It also gives us power. It tells the world, "Think what you will of me and my age. But I know who I am and I am just fine."

As the wonderful actress Ethel Barrymore once said: "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh—at yourself."

So join me for some very funny birthday quotes from some very funny ladies.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have because the older she gets the more interested he becomes.
~Agatha Christie

If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent.
~Nicole Beale

You've logged so many miles in the voyage of life that you've been upgraded to First Class!
~Evelyn Loeb

With the grace of God and a good lighting director, I plan to stick around for a good long time.
~Barbara Walters

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it's up to you to merit the face you have at 50.
~Coco Chanel

Coco Chanel Quot

The tart sense of humor from some very famous ladies comes through in these funny birthday quotes:

I feel like a million tonight—but one at a time.
~Mae West

From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash.
~Sophie Tucker

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
~Bette Midler

The Best Women's Funny Birthday Quotes by Actresses

When you're 20 and pretty, then you're rather like Switzerland—beautiful but dull.
~Faye Dunaway

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.
~Shelley Winters

Helen Hayes Quote

Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~Helen Hayes

The hardest years in life are those between 10 and 70.
~Helen Hayes, at 83

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.
~Goldie Hawn

I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.
~Eva Gabor

It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen."
~Brigitte Bardot

Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them."
~Anna Magnani

'Isn't it fun getting older' is really a terrible fallacy. That's like saying I prefer driving an old car with a flat tire.
~Katharine Hepburn

Discussing how old you are is the temple of boredom.
~Ruth Gordon

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked.
~Pearl S. Buck

Authorities say brain cells may shrink, but they don't necessarily die. Frankly, I am cheered by the fact that something is shrinking. I'd be even more thrilled if what was shrinking affected my dress size, but you can't have everything.
~Erma Bombeck

The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25-year-old men.
~Colleen McCullough

We are always the same age inside.
~Gertrude Stein

And here's my favorite of the funny birthday quotes from a great lady:

Getting old ain't for sissies.
~Bette Davis

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Also see these other pages
of funny and inspirational
birthday quotes

50th Birthday Quotes

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Inspirational Birthday Quotes